Don't touch my baby
This is one of those things that you never realize until you become a parent: people, in general, known and unknown, want to touch your baby... and this pisses you off!
Tell me if this rings a bell: you are strolling around with your baby and then some random old woman sees your baby and out of the blue gets close, says something to the baby, and gently touches his/her face. No questions asked.
At this moment you are still thinking "who are you?", which turns into "why do you touch my baby?"
“List of situations when you can touch my baby without permission: never.”
This situation can be very upsetting for the parents and also for the baby. Regarding the parents, there are three reasons why we don't like this. Firstly, it is not healthy. You don't know where those hands were before touching your baby, and many times, you don't even know the person. This might sound harsh, but the truth is that babies have not yet a fully developed immune system and there is no need to have people touching their faces, noses, or mouths. Do you think that this is a bit over the top? Answer this: how many adult people do you greet touching their faces? I don't mean a gentle cheek-with-cheek greeting kiss. I mean actually putting your fingers on someone else's face. Even more, someone you just met on the street. Of all the things about babies that we interpret (wrongly) from the adult perspective, precisely this one we don't. Secondly, in the case of small babies, there is a strong emotional connection between parents and the baby. We feel an urge not to let anyone interfere. We might not be even happy letting our new-born with the grandparents or friends because we still have this strong connection that makes you feel as if you were a single person and not separate individuals. Getting in the middle of this is a dangerous bet and some parents can get upset. Finally, it is plain rude. I know babies are super cute, with chubby cheeks and smooth skin and you might want to feel that for a second. Well, ask for permission first or just go a make one of your own.
The other part of the equation is the baby. Sometimes too young to have the will or strength to state that they don't want to be touched by a stranger. But as they cannot do anything to oppose, people do it directly. Which, as a parent, it feels like an imposition against which your baby is defenseless unless you do something.
“A stranger touching your baby is unhealthy, an imposition, and plain rude.”
To be completely fair, I don't think people have bad intentions when touching a baby. They simply grab a foot or a hand a bit or grace the cheek. I did this with friends' babies before I became a parent myself. I think that what's behind this impulse is to prove to the parents that you like the baby, that you acknowledge him/her, and maybe to get a smile or some kind of interaction. But the truth is that maybe neither babies nor parents might like this. The former are powerless because of their age, the latter might also be constrained by social conventions. So in the end the only one having fun might be the person touching your baby without any invitation.
Of course, Corona times made this issue even more relevant, because, believe it or not, despite having a rampaging epidemic, people still got close to our girl's face and touched her without asking for permission. And even if there was no Corona, there is no need to have other people's viruses on your baby's face.
“People will tell you that you are being overprotective with your baby, but nobody will tell you the same about any delicate good you own.”
What can you do if this happens? Well. It is an unpleasant situation but is that other person who got you there. So try to be polite but firm and state that "please, don't touch the baby's face". Corona was a great deterrent when mentioned, but this problem will outlast Corona. So you need to be firm. The other person might understand or they might get angry. If they do, that's their problem. They might tell you that you are overprotective and exaggerate. Well, first you don't owe explanations to anyone much less about how you take care of your children. Second, even if you overprotect (which you don't)... so what? It is your child, it is your decision. Imagine that you have a very expensive and delicate Ming Dynasty vase at home. Then some random stranger that comes home, maybe to fix a window, sees that vase and decides to touch it. Wouldn't you tell them "please, don't touch that"? Nobody will call you "overprotective". In fact, most people would think that this guy was unpolite, touching things in another person's house. Well, what is more precious than your baby? In summary, if you are reading this, please, refrain from touching other people's babies. If you really feel the urge, first ask the parents. They will surely appreciate the deference.
